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If at first you do not succeed, skydiving is not for you.
A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.”
A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to “Remove child before folding”
A prescription of sleeping pills says, “Warning: May cause drowsiness
A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: “Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.”
A massage chair warns: "DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving."
A snowblower warns: "Do not use snowthrower on roof.²"
A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."
A CD player carries this unusual warning: “Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult.”
An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter cautions, “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks”
A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use “while sleeping or unconscious”
A container of underarm deodorant says, “Caution: Do not spray in eyes”
A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner”
A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”
A label with a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”
A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: “Not intended for highway use”
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”
A Bathroom Heater says: “This product is not to be used in bathrooms”
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution - Risk of Fire”
A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”
a label on a snow sled says: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."
a 12-inch-high storage rack for compact disks which warns: "Do not use as a ladder."
a smoke detector which warns: "Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire,"

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."
On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."
On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!
On a bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact.
On a box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!

Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is Remove plastic.
On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said "Lab test: (their product) vs. water.
On a television commercial I saw it said they their denture paste was better than any other. BELOW IT, it said in small letters, vs. using no adhesive.
I have a full-face motorcycle helmet with a giant arrow pointing to the front. I can only guess that some idiot put the helmet on backwards, jumped on a bike and hurt himself. This is to protect to manufacturer from future lawsuits.
One day I went to a wall-mart out of state and I went to buy a blow dryer when I read the warnings it said "DO NOT BLOW DRY IN SLEEP"
Seen on the back of a drink bottle label: "Do not peel label off."
On a Band-Aid box: "For serious injuries, seek medical attention."
On a can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving." Like I'm going to spoon it to my baby dry!
This stupid label was found on a can of Woolite carpet cleaner: "Safe for carpets, too!"
This label was found on the BOTTOM of a box of glass ornaments: "Do not turn upside down."
On a box of Frosted Cheerio's, the logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."
On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."
I once saw an ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said "No purchase necessary - Details Inside."
Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos: Dip chips in cheese and salsa.
The golf carts on the course I worked at have warning labels saying, "Not for highway use."
On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) "Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets."
While working at a large medical center in the Midwest, a construction worker was admitted with a large hammer sticking out of his head. Seems he was in an altercation with another gentleman. On the side of the hammer were the words, 'Use protective eyewear.'
On the back of the Pilots seat on NATO AWAC Aircraft (E-3A), is a sign that states: "Seat must be facing forward for take off and landing."
On the label of Sterno is a warning that says, "Do not use near fire or flame." Check it out!
Seen on a container of salt: Warning: High in sodium
Seen on computer instructions: Visit our site for further instructions. http://www.pc.com/pc/instructions.htm
On a hose nozzle there was a warning that said: "Do not spray into electrical outlet."
Seen on an industrial size washer in our local laundry establishment was the (large lettered) sign: "Warning: Do not put any person in this washer."
There is also a stroller on the market with the warning, "Remove child before folding."


Last Updated Sunday, July 03 2005 @ 07:15 AM UTC View Printable Version

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